Saturday, April 14, 2007 @ 7:43 PM

15th april spells something.
HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYY CASEY RAFAEL TAN JIN HAN. :DD
big boy already, please learnt how to behave yourself.
be more daring !
SAY HELLO TO INSECTS/FLIES?CRAWLIES AND HORROR MOVIEES !
hahahah (:

yesterday was a productive day i guess?
it was spent with the darlings !
we went to queensway to get our FBTs and wahlao eh the sizes are all so disorientated.
had a hard hard time looking for the desired sizes.
then was vivo to get my tops.
i didnt manage to get the one that both me and gill thought was nice bestfriend was like "EEEEYER LOOK AUNTY LA"
crushed is the word man, so in the end i settled with another one.
next time i should bring her to shopping cos whatever i think is nice, she'll go against me.hahaha.
i cant wait for next sat ! :D and also fri !:D
bet xinyu and gillian are looking forward to friday also. they like the part my money flying away from me.heh.
basketball was also good, some guy's nose bled so much la.
the white towel eventually became red towel that was how bad it was.
we settled down, and it was talk time with bestfriend.
got to understand so many stuff.
left me to think think and think. emo beeemoooo.
sometimes i really wish that there's 48 hours a day,so that i have time for everyone
so no one feel left out/neglected/abandoned.
sometimes i wish i dont have so many commitments so that i dont have to commit into anything. then i'll have time for many other things.
sometimes i think i shouldnt have gone to SAJC i should have gone to IJC or YJC.
sometimes i think i should just stop making friends,i want to forget the world and be selfish.
sometimes i wish all can stand in my postition and try to understand the situation i'm in. i have been leading this kinda no life-life for like the past two years.
school,training,school training. it has always been like that I HAVE NO LIFE geddit?
sometimes maybe,i shouldnt have ever joined swimming and stay in choir and sing my whole life away, maybe i'll be happier.
sometimes i wished that my cousins are not in topschools so that the pressure in the family wont be so intensed,or should i say CAN YAWL DROP OUT OF YOUR SCHOOL or dont study so that there's no competition on who's smarter and who's not. who's in top school and who's NOT.stop being so clever !
sometimes, i want to explain and talk things out.
I'M NOT LIKE HER.i really am not.I AM NOT AND I'M SO NOT.
i try my best to be at everything that has been organised.
sometimes i wished i am an irreponsible person,i do things as and when i feel like it i dont want any aims in life,forget studies forget everything sit down rot and waste my life away.
we're all in different institutions, there ought to be differences at one point or the other. you say the bond is strong, truth is, it was never strong. we hide our misery and thoughts, face each other with a facade.
i feel left out at times too, cos we're not in the same genre in the first place,i tried to fit in and i succeeded,now that we're in different places and the drift is up again.i dont understand your things and you dont understand mine.
we're trying to make each other happy,thats all.
try try try and try, we will all die trying. and when the effort is made, sometimes, we just cant have both of the worlds.something/someone has to sacrifice.
THE WORLD IS NEVER FAIR
we cant manupilate it, we have to live with it.
sometimes,i wish we wounldnt have to separate at all.
and i dont wanna get separated,i really do not want to.
i want time for myself, for all of you, for you,for everything.
do i have to blame jc ?
do i have to blame my family/cousins ?
do i have to blame the world for being so unfair ?
do i have to blame God for giving us so much things and so little time?
OR
do i only have myself to blame ?

will anyone lie with me and forget the world ?
quit your perceptions of me being the way you all thought i would be.
cos i'll never be like her,i never will.
i treasure you guys too much,so much so that i know i will never ever do that.
PERIOD.
<333

GILLIAN LEE, muthusamy tongtong (:

Saturday, April 14, 2007 @ 7:43 PM

Saturday, April 14, 2007 @ 7:43 PM